4 December 2008

Excerpt from "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" by Charlie Kaufman


There's a silence.....



CLEMENTINE
My name's Clementine, by the way.


JOEL
I'm Joel.


CLEMENTINE
No jokes about my name? Oh, you wouldn't
do that; you're trying to be nice.


JOEL
I don't know any jokes about your name.


CLEMENTINE
Huckleberry Hound?


JOEL
I don't know what that means.


CLEMENTINE
Huckleberry Hound! What, are you nuts?


JOEL
I'm nut nuts.


CLEMENTINE
(singing)
Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my
darlin' Clementine? No?


JOEL
Sorry. It's a pretty name, though. It
means "merciful", right?


CLEMENTINE
(impressed)
Yeah. Although it hardly fits. I'm a
vindictive little bitch, truth be told.


JOEL
See, I wouldn't think that about you.


CLEMENTINE
(pissy)
Why wouldn't you think that about me?


JOEL
Oh. I don't know. I was just... I don't
know. I was... You seemed nice, so --


CLEMENTINE
Now I'm nice? Don't you know any other
adjectives? There's careless and snotty
and overbearing and argumentative...
mumpish.


JOEL
Well, anyway... Sorry.


They sit in silence for a while.....



CLEMENTINE
I just don't think "nice" is a
particularly interesting thing to be.


CLEMENTINE
What is nice, anyway? I mean, besides an
adjective? I guess it can be an adverb,
sort of.


CLEMENTINE
It doesn't reveal anything. Nice is
pandering. Cowardly.


CLEMENTINE
And life is more interesting than that.
Or should be. Jesus God, I hope it is...
someday.


CLEMENTINE
I don't need nice. I don't need myself
to be it and I don't need anyone else to
be it at me.


JOEL
Okay......



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